Good Morning

Ok. So mornings haven't really been that good lately, but if I just keep my eye on the BIG picture then it's really not all that bad. Today is day 13th of having to inject myself every morning with this lovely thing. Mark tried to do it the first 2 days, but I quickly realized I have a much "gentler" hand than he does. If there is a bright side, it's the fact that I have to inject myself around my belly button as opposed to my arm. The way my stomache is looking I think someone might call child services if they saw that on my arm. It's been all trial and error, and the errors look WAY worse than they really are.

I'm also kind of glad I hadn't posted before too, because I was feeling so over confidently good about overcoming my fear of needles I had planned on writing a post on how I'm feeling like I can do anything with a little motivation blahblahblah....

That was before I was given the "PM" shot. I don't have a picture of it yet, but that thing is twice as big as this little shot, and I inject 3 times as much fluid into my lower back. OUCH!!! I'm on night 3 of that one, and it's pretty bad. I get light headed, I need something to squeeze, and last night I actually cried. If you've ever had an epidural or a spinal tap, you know that painful pressure you feel up and down your spine? It's a slightly toned down version of that. We might try a different spot tonight, because I don't know if it's suppose to hurt that bad. So much for the right motivation huh? I'm really starting to second guess my ability to handle things.

As far as emotions go, I was doing great until yesterday. After that last shot, I just felt like watching a sad movie and eating ice-cream. It's only for about 10 more days, so I hope I don't turn into a total nut-case before then.

Who does subtle anymore?

What?!! Is my BIRTHDAY coming up already? I can dream right? I just gotta make sure this post gets to Mark:)

Are they ALL yours!??

Never fails. Every time I go to the grocery store with the kids, some one is sure to make a comment about the number of kids i have, or how full my hands are!? Really?! It's only three! Maybe it looks like more because of how fast they run circles around the shoppingcart, I don't know. I guess this is California and not Utah or Arizona, but still. It's just three.....for now.

No I'm not pregnant, yet. I'm not complaining really, I just thought it'd be a good segway for my real reason for this post.

For the past 3 years, I've known I wanted another baby. Not a big deal if I hadn't had my tubes tied after Savannah was born, BUT I did. Under the "guidance" of my doctor I decided 3 was good, and I was done with being pregnant, but that was before I knew she had a cleft, or that I would emotionally check-out for the next 6 months of our lives.

I see the pictures, and I remember all we went through before her surgeries, but it still seems like it all happened to someone else, and I was just watching it happen. There's a lot I regret not doing for those first 6 months of her life, and I'm sure that plays a big part in my decision and perserverence to have another baby, but we all (the kids and Mark and I) made it through that hard time in one piece and for that I am both grateful and proud of us.

For the past 6 months we've been seeing a fertility doctor, and after a couple of set backs, we are Finally going to start IVF this month.

I'm including a general disclaimer to anyone who will be around me, or might cross my path in these next 7 or 8 week. I will have an abnormally high amount of hormones and drugs going through me, and would like to apologize now for any emotional outbursts or swings that may occur. Then again, maybe it won't be that bad right? Either way, you've been warned.

Resolutions!

Is it just me, or is it now the "cool" thing to say you don't have a resolution. It just seems like everywhere I turn, someone is talking about resolutions and saying how "last year" they were, then publicly stating they will not be making a resolution.:) I for one am NOT above resolutions. I have mine, but then again, I make a resolution every Monday hoping maybe this week will be the week I keep my house clean, cook dinner every night, not yell at my kids as much, work out, say no to the cookies, not flake on some assignment I commited to, read my scriptures every night, do some laundry...........and so on and on. I can barely work in weeks, let alone in years, so as I'm writing this, I guess I'm joining in on the "no new years resolution" side of it all, but am officially starting a NEW WEEK'S RESOLUTION catergory too.

Happy New Years!

OH! Almost forgot to tell about our New Years. We stayed in and spent it with the kids.

Toy Story2- $1
In&Out- $23
Popcorn- $.50
Kids that can't tell time yet- Priceless

(Sorry couldn't help myself)

Want of the day

I recently went to the mall with my sister-in-law, and as we browsed through the different stores talking about our christmas wish lists, she turned to me and said, "maybe you should give me list of things you don't want":) Can I help it if I know what I want?

So in honor of you Christie, I've decided to post my wants of the day as I happen to come across them.

Today it is M.A.C's VIVA GLAM I lipstick




and this beautiful dress by Shabby Apple

Run, run, run as fast as you can.....

I just love rainy days with nothing to do.

Hello World!

Hello Blog World! I've missed you. Although I have to admit I feel absolutley no pressure to keep my posts fun or entertaining, because I'm sure at this point that I have no one that even checks for updates, so here goes. I've decided I'm not going to limit my blog to family updates only, but make it a good representation on what's going on in this crazy head of mine.