Thursday, March 3, 2011

Good Morning

Ok. So mornings haven't really been that good lately, but if I just keep my eye on the BIG picture then it's really not all that bad. Today is day 13th of having to inject myself every morning with this lovely thing. Mark tried to do it the first 2 days, but I quickly realized I have a much "gentler" hand than he does. If there is a bright side, it's the fact that I have to inject myself around my belly button as opposed to my arm. The way my stomache is looking I think someone might call child services if they saw that on my arm. It's been all trial and error, and the errors look WAY worse than they really are.

I'm also kind of glad I hadn't posted before too, because I was feeling so over confidently good about overcoming my fear of needles I had planned on writing a post on how I'm feeling like I can do anything with a little motivation blahblahblah....

That was before I was given the "PM" shot. I don't have a picture of it yet, but that thing is twice as big as this little shot, and I inject 3 times as much fluid into my lower back. OUCH!!! I'm on night 3 of that one, and it's pretty bad. I get light headed, I need something to squeeze, and last night I actually cried. If you've ever had an epidural or a spinal tap, you know that painful pressure you feel up and down your spine? It's a slightly toned down version of that. We might try a different spot tonight, because I don't know if it's suppose to hurt that bad. So much for the right motivation huh? I'm really starting to second guess my ability to handle things.

As far as emotions go, I was doing great until yesterday. After that last shot, I just felt like watching a sad movie and eating ice-cream. It's only for about 10 more days, so I hope I don't turn into a total nut-case before then.